Home   >   News   >   Car Seat Belts – A National Disgrace

Car Seat Belts – A National Disgrace

By on February 5, 2012

If only it looked like this after you left the show room

We can send a man to the moon. We can foment a revolution in the Middle East from our cell phones, but apparently we cannot make car seat belts that actually retract back where they belong. Judging from the foreign cars I have rented, neither else can anyone else.

In my time, I have left behind a trail of mangled seat belts and buckles that have been bent, pressed and other wise destroyed in car doors jambs. The last car I turned in had a seat belt on the driver’s side that looked like it had been used as a teething ring by a small great white.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. You unbuckle in your car, throw the seat belt in the proper direction, get out, stand up, slam the door, only to hear a disturbing metallic ‘clink’ somewhere behind you. You look back. The door is slightly ajar. Something sliver is peeking out. The seat belt is sagging down on the ground.

No matter how carefully you remove the belt and move it to the proper side, it seems to be magnetically drawn into the car door jamb as soon as you turn your head away. Why are cars doomed to have twisted polyester straps with the impressions of the car lock as soon as they get home from the dealer’s show room?

The automobile seat belt is one of the most important health prevention devices of modern times. It has reduced injuries and deaths on the highways since it became mandatory. It has saved more lives than fluoridation or Metamucil combined. So why do the people who design this part of the car regard it with such obvious disdain?

We have GPS systems that guide you around the planet, back up devises that warn you when you are about to crunch into hidden objects, alarm systems that can track your car to the South Pole, but good old American know-how cannot find a way to keep a plastic strap within the confines of the front seat?

I challenge the President to request this advance in next year’s State of the Union Address. It is at least as important as protecting moose hunters’ rights to bear arms, or the right of PAC’s to pour millions of dollars into protracted campaigns on behalf of candidates you never really wanted in the first place.

Mr. President, the gauntlet has been thrown down. A really retractable seat belt would be sure proof of the American Exceptionalism, we are hearing so much about these days. Detroit, now that you have been bailed out, are you listening?

Tom Godfrey

About Tom Godfrey

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

HTML tags are not allowed.